Communicating in Conflict: Strategies for Resolution and Understanding

Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of human interaction. Whether it’s a fight with a partner, a disagreement with co-workers, or tension amongst friends, conflict arises due to differing perspectives, needs, and priorities. While conflict may be challenging, however, it also presents opportunities for growth and development within relationships. The most effective way to handle conflict is learning how to communicate during these times.

Effective communication is the most important skill when it comes to resolving conflict between two people. It involves active listening, empathy, assertiveness, and willingness to compromise. Let’s explore some strategies for navigating conflict and finding resolutions.

1. Active Listening

One way to enhance communication during conflict is through active listening. This means providing your full, undivided attention to the other person without interrupting or preparing for your turn to speak. Instead, focus on understanding their point of view, emotions, and concerns. Summarize what you heard back to them to show engagement and to clarify any missing details.

2. Empathy

Empathy is important because it demonstrates your ability to understand and feel the emotions of others. It’s essential for conflict resolution because it helps build connection and provide validation. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and acknowledge how they are feeling, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them. By showing empathy, conversations can be constructive, and it can be much easier to de-escalate if emotions get too high.

3. Avoid Defensiveness

In conflict, it’s common for people to blame others and grow defensive in order to protect themselves from pain. However, this approach often leads to the conversation escalating, and it is much harder to come to a resolution. Try to instead focus on the issue at hand without assigning blame or taking things personally.

4. Seek Compromises

Even in the thick of a disagreement, there is always some way to find common ground. Look for shared interests, values, or goals that you can build upon to find an agreeable solution. Collaboration can reinforce the idea that you are capable of problem-solving and can strengthen the relationship.

5. Clarify Misunderstandings

Conflict often arises due to some misunderstandings between one another. Leaving these unresolved can cause tension and put further strain on the conflict. Take the time to ask questions about misconceptions and ensure you have a sense of clarity moving forward. Be patient and willing to provide clarification of your own.

6. Use “I” Statements

When expressing thoughts and feelings, use “I” statements to take ownership of your emotions and to avoid placing blame. For example, instead of saying “you always ignore me when I talk”, try saying, “I feel frustrated when I don’t feel heard”. Statements like these encourages personal accountability for actions and can lead to a more constructive conversation.

7. Take Breaks

Emotions can run high while in conflict, causing difficulties with effective communication. When you feel yourself becoming too agitated, take a break and revisit the conversation later. It is counterproductive to continue working through an issue when both parties are emotionally charged. Take some time to calm down and compose your thoughts. When you both feel the tension fade, be sure to bring it back to the issue at hand.

8. Focus on Resolution

Ultimately, the goal of conflict is to find a resolution that addresses the issues and appeals to all people involved. Be sure to stay on track with problem-solving and tackle one issue at a time. Work on finding a solution to the first problem before moving on to any other underlying issues. Be willing to compromise, even if that means setting aside your ego for the best resolution.

9. Seek Professional Help

If you think you are someone who struggles with handling conflict, it may be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. Counselors can help you work on effective methods of communication and working through any personal barriers that may impact your ability to handle conflict.